This morning I did a braid, turned around, and asked Jeremy if it looked alright in the back. He replied, “I think so,” and then became surprised when I immediately took it out.

“Wait!” he cried, “I meant it looks fine!”
“Exactly,” I told him, attempting another braid.

Men, you need to know this: You cannot tell a woman that her hair looks fine. Fine means bad in every woman’s vocabulary. Think about it. When you ask your woman how she is, and she says she is “Fine,” it usually means you are in deep deep trouble.

Now, Jeremy is usually pretty good about letting me make my own hair decisions/mistakes. He’s patiently bystanded (bystood? Made up word, whatever) as I put feathers in my hair, cut 6 inches off, and got ombre coloring. But I’ve known too many other men that make too many of these mistakes.  I thought I might as well make a little manual out of it.

1. Men– With few exceptions, your role in our hair decisions is to be a “Yes Man.” When we ask you if our hair looks nice, we already think it does. We are asking for validation, not your opinion. So tell us we are beautiful, and maybe throw a “Wow!” or a “Dang!” in there.

EXCEPTION: If a girl asks you if her hair looks good in the back, what she means is: Are there any waves I forgot to straighten, or pieces my curling iron missed? Then, Man needs to be honest and thorough and LOCATE the pieces she has missed. And then kiss her forehead.

Menfolk: THIS is what we are trying to avoid. THIS is not straight hair.

2. Similarly, if we have always wanted to try a pixie cut, ombre, dreadlocks, or pink streaks, but have never gotten the courage, a dutiful man will say, “You will look beautiful no matter what. That sounds sexy.” Girls need to experiment with their hair decisions. They are temporary and necessary for personal development.
EXCEPTION: If we want to try one of these styles on a whim, and especially if we are pregnant or otherwise hormonal, politely ask us to wait until the hormonal period is over before indulging in said hairstyle. The correct way to do this is to create a diversion that keeps us thinking about something other than hair for as long as the hormonal period should require.

See? Perfectly adorable. I also googled CLEAN DREADLOCKS for this image to prove they do exist.

A very beautiful pixie indeed.

See? It’s possible that this is a good idea?

3. Never tell a girl “I told you so,” after a bad hair decision. Either offer to pay for the hair decision’s reversal (after they have already personally expressed their own displeasure), or tell them it looks perfect and you wouldn’t change it for the world.

4. Keep your woman from doing the “Mom Haircut” as long as possible. You do not need to be a “Yes Man” on this issue.

No offense to this lady. It looks very nice on her. But you get the general idea.

5. Your child’s hair is an extension of how your woman feels about her own hair. So… just let her do her thing. That may mean bows or ribbons or shaggy hair or things that you generally object to as a man.

6.The sooner you perfect the phrase, “I love you no matter what your hair looks like, but of course it looks gorgeous,” about your woman’s hair, the happier your marriage/ courtship/ acquaintance will be.

For an interesting male perspective on women’s hair, check out my friend, DJ’s Blog.

Any other rules I’m missing?