Guys! It’s a miracle. Somewhere in between yesterday’s blog publication and 7 PM , I developed a real need, not just for glasses but for full-on bifocals! Fortunately, I was able to get a rapid prescription and glasses posthaste!
… So here’s what really happened. On my walk to drop of my rent check to our landlord, I passed an Urban Outfitters. Acting on a tip from my fashion savvy friend Allison, I decided to go inside… just to check.
Hooray! A store so Hipster that they shamelessly put clear glass (no magnification) in their solely vain glasses! Thank you Urban Outfitters for your shamelessness! I was so happy that I put them on hold and waited semi-patiently for Jeremy to come home so I could tell him about my find.
Being the patient husband that he is, he decided that I must have teacher glasses, even if he thinks they look ridiculous (which, they do).
They don’t have black rims as I had originally specified, but I wasn’t picky because they do not magnify. Also, they are comically large. When I wear them, I feel like I might look like a praying mantis/Professor Trelawny hybrid. Also, they do make seeing a little harder, so I took them off to watch the Olympics and then promptly put them back on until Jeremy had to pry them from my face at bedtime. They are vain and silly, and I might actually be too embarrassed to wear them very often.
But the main thing is that I love them. I love my silly little glasses so so much. I maintain that I needed them even if I don’t have vision problems.
*On a more serious note, most of my glasses hyperbole and curse-labeling has been hyperbole, and I am most thankful for my vision. I’m not vain enough to genuinely take my vision for granted. Because obviously the curse of my life is my ugly toenails (hyperbole again… or is it litotes?)