Are you familiar with this Satanic and glorious game? A game so savory, so haunting, that the five minutes you vow to play expands into an unthinkable four hours where the only thing that matters are lining up the multipliers and lining up rows of five. A game so enchanting that it matters not what social interaction you aren’t having, but only the points quickly racking up on the top left side of the screen. I feel my life getting sucked into the world wind of gemstones, and as long as it stays on my I-Pod, there is no foreseeable end in sight.

I explain the true menace of the game to make this lapse of childcare forgivable in the eyes of my readers. It wouldn’t have happened had it not been for all the Blitzing going on. Bethany and I were at the computer—eyes watering, hearts thundering beyond our ribcage and to our entire body for what seemed like mere moments. Surely it couldn’t have been longer than one round. Fixated we sat. Transfixed, Mesmerized, Bedazzled… Bejeweled. And finally when consciousness seemed nigh, we realized that a strange calm had come over the house. We rose from the computer room only to find the product of our neglect!