I find that often I am kept awake at night, perplexed by the question: “What is the opposite of a shark?”
Fortunately I have been blessed by dear friends, the Shelby-Russell family, who have been able to successfully answer this question for me.
“Why Sierra,” they would say in the most matter-of-fact, plain as day, but still ever-so-Shelby sweet way, “Clearly, clearly, the opposite of a shark is a muffin.”
There’s a simple logic in this. I submit to you my proposal of agreement:
- Sharks are rather pointy and angular, where a muffin is much more round and has no harsh lines.
- Sharks live under water; muffins live on land.
- Sharks are predators; muffins are prey.
- Sharks have teeth; muffins have blueberries.
- Sharks are living; muffins are (dead?)
- Sharks are mean, but muffins are so nice!
Now, before you raise your outcry that muffins are so completely opposite from a shark because they are in entirely different genres of things, realize that I judge people based on their ability to accept this crucial life principle or not. Recently I have had a friend go as far to suggest that every relationship has a shark and a muffin. The muffin is inherently feminine, nurturing, and sweet.
This brings me to the startling realization: In relationships… I have shark-like tendencies. I don’t cook. I’m all for watching “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” instead of “Baptists at our Barbeque.” If I want to hang out with someone, I am not afraid to ask them to hang out with me. Also, I have sharp incisors.
So dear friends… Which are you? A shark or a muffin and why?
This made me laugh out loud, As one who really appreciates the nuances of the shark muffin scenario! I belive i'm more of a muffin, can't explain why without more thought. Thanks for a great post!!!
I'm sorry- I am just having a hard time believing that you, Sierra, are indeed a shark. In fact, as I type I'm gaining a strong sense of determination to prove that you are as far from a shark as you can get, which is apparently a muffin- kind, sweet, small and petite, that you have more bark (or fluffy outer crust) than bite, that you'd rather watch pride and prejudice than borne identity, or shoot the breeze rather than a gun, and that you are not full of bluefish, but blueberries; you're more sugar than shark… Shorty.
Did you know that some Sharks are cannibals eat their young after they are born? Just something to think about. 🙂
Oh, and I love Muffins, they fill my insides with sunshine jelly. (I loved your comparison between teeth and blueberries, truly a beautiful scientific deduction). hahahhah
Oh dear Sierra- oh my gosh! I was…..pretty much literally transported back to….what….7th grade?? And we took a certain late-bus home, and in a fit of TOTAL randomness, had a conversation very much like this post, but without the nice metaphor to make it sensical. omg- do you remember!??! Something about like….sharks, and muffins and….possibly clouds. I kid you not. I had completely forgotten this memory, do you remember!??! hahaahhahaha, I really hope you do
YES! It was on the activity bus!
Haha, short bus riiiiiiderss 🙂
literally just recovered from a laugh attack. you are brilliant and i miss having French with you. just you, not the French.
i think i'm like your photo. cupcake inside, shark on top.
shuffin
I think I'm more of shark-type… I'm not afraid of arguements & loud fights.. I'm dominating.. but yeah, I'm a bit shy to ask out!! Help me with that now…. Muffin in the beginning, then transcending into shark??? 😀