I felt small today, remarkably small. noticeably small. I noticed this as I was walking across the grass in front of the JSB and I noticed how extremely close my head was to the ground in comparison to other bodies. I noticed it when I realized that my shadow, cast by a premature descent of the sun, was a foot shorter than everyone else’s six foot shadows. And while my smallness is something that everyone in the entire world seems to notice, today I noticed how very small the world sees me as. I am small.

I felt small when I got a French paper returned to me positively barfed on with red ink of corrections to make. I felt small when I got an English paper back and I got only 7’s as a score and not 8’s. I want eights. I felt small only making 75 dollars on a Friday night of work. But it’s nothing compared to the feeling of absolute smallness of huddling over a toilet dry-heaving all the smallness out of you because it hurts so much to be this metaphorically little. For the first time ever, I felt like the person inside my small little frame might actually be a small little person.

It kind of hurts my feelings to be this small.