Excuse me, I know this is sooo Utah of me, but if I could dip the world in Ranch dressing, I would. I love Ranch Dressing. 

I wasn’t raised on the stuff. Ranch, like Lucky Charms or Hamburger Helper, never made it into our family grocery cart when I was growing up. In fact, I grew up snubbing Ranch.

Nose upturned, I would order at restaurants in my “Daughters of the American Revolution” voice. “I’ll have It-ah-lian, please.”

It wasn’t until college when my roommates and I decided (for some completely unknowable reason) to go to TGIFridays. We ordered an appetizer–fried green beans. Our server tried to entice us into a big tip by making fun of other customers’ Utan tendency to smother and suffocate their entrees with a healthy dose of Hidden Valley. And the whole time he was making fun of Ranch eaters,  I was thinking how MIND BLOWING “Ryancth” (this was how he said Ranch in his mock Utah Valley accent) sounded right about then.

Me (after his bit had gone on for a while): “Um, excuse me?” I asked, nose turned downward since I was appropriately shamed. “But could I please have some ranch to dip these in?”

Him: “Are you serious?”

Me: (barely audible) “… yes.”

Since then, I have developed a reverent adoration for the dressing, and I don’t think twice about drowning, dipping, slathering, and spreading Ryantch on everything. Salad is just the tip of the iceberg (pun not intended, but still appreciated)!

And speaking of socially unacceptable eating habits, I’ve recently realized–to my utmost shame and horror–that cheeseburgers are my favorite food of all time. And a ranch smothered cheeseburger… Oh heavens.

Either that, or it’s the time of the month.

But seriously, doesn’t this look AMAZING right about now?