My Top 5 Under-Appreciated Instagrams

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Instagram is a wonderful cyber reality. No really, I am enjoying it. Knowing I am no photographer, I am still happy to have these little square pictures documenting the mundane and exciting moments in my life, and I am enjoying the little glimpses I get into your lives too.

But after a loosely calculated and hardly serious study, I am learning that I can basically predict which photos are going to get some “likes” and which won’t. 
Does your Instagram feature:
  • A couple (usually yourself with another person) doing something mildly abnormal like playing Scrabble or washing a car?
  • Some sort of Witty Aphorism?
  • Aesthetically pleasing, gluten-free food?
  • Jimmer Fredette?
  • Jef Holm?
  • A picture that was taken in an exotic locale with a nice Canon camera, then heavily photoshopped, and then applied to Instagram?
  • A pretty teenage girl posing in a just suggestive enough pose to still be sexy AND mysterious AND age-appropriate all at once?
Good for you, your photo’s gonna get some lovin’. I’ve shot some well-liked photos into the Instagram abyss, but I’ve had others that have flopped. So here I am to shame my Instagram followers for not understanding/ appreciating the “artistic integrity” behind my point-and-shoot efforts on my weeny cell phone camera. 

My Top 5 Most Under-Appreciated Instagrams
*Please note, most of my justifications are completely made up and a load of waffle. 
#5 -“THE MONKEY MODEL”
This photo comments on society’s vanity. Jeremy poses with a hybrid of “Duck Face” and “Clout Pout” to show the unattractive, amoral underbelly of the Fashion industry. He is in essence, MODERN ART, people! How did you not see the inherent message behind this impromptu image and Jeremy’s appallingly scary facial expression?

#4 “THE REAL RAINBOW FISH”
Guys! I found the Rainbow Fish from This Fable, and you are acting like it’s no big deal that I met a celebrity. Admittedly,  yes,  I wasn’t scuba diving or even snorkeling. I found him in a tank… at an aquarium. But it was still a rare “find.” You may have noticed that it is slightly blurry. Perhaps that was why you did not “like” this photo when it appeared on my Instagram reel. But if you could see the minutes of diligent effort that I spent trying to get this fish at an appropriate, non PG-13 angle, where his body wasn’t swimming suggestively, then you certainly would have been more eager to HEART THIS PHOTO UP.
#3 “THE ROOTBEER SMENCIL”
Admittedly, there is not inherent artistic quality to this photograph, but I was saddened that more people weren’t excited about the existence/ NAME OF this product. SMENCILS. Shelby-Russels, you guys appropriately reacted to the Smencil, my Gourmet Pencil that smelled like Root Beer, so you are off the hook. But by and large friends, your lack of enthusiasm was underwhelming. I love my Smencil so much it sleeps under my bed at night… Because it rolled under there and it’s dusty, so I haven’t gotten it out yet.
#2 “THE HURRYLESS BIRD”
This piece was titled “Bird Late for Work,” and… I’m embarrassed to say I was genuinely proud of this composition. This solo bird was a stark juxtaposition to the impatient humans in the Chicago subway. It was out of sorts with its natural habitat, yet so serene and patient. Don’t even get me started on the irony and symbolism richly apparent in this Instagram. This Pigeon was an example to us all. If only you had known.  
#1 “MAGNETIC POETRY OF THE SOUL”
Look. I’m a high school English Teacher. I know that Poetry seems like an outdated artform. But this was profound!
I blame myself that this photo was overlooked. There was a typo in my caption. I wrote, “My give year old nephew’s magnetic poem.” Probably you didn’t know what a give year old was. But I meant to say my “five-year-old” nephew, Thomas, though I believe he is six now. At such a young age, he perceived one of the most basic human truths about society, and we judge and measure ourselves up to our peers. Of course, I’m interpreting this formalistically, so I should probably question his lack of commas, even though this is a list in a series. I might also interpret the meaning behind putting “myself” in between man and friend. What does that say about how Thomas situates himself in this society.  Also he used Ampersands, which tickles my English Teaching funny bone.
ALSO: It’s cute because all the poems Jeremy and I made are way up high. This poem was situated near the bottom of the fridge, much closer to Thomas’ little height. While that is not captured in the image, it certainly adds to the over all effect. 
So there. Now I hope you all feel sheepish. Or I hope you go back through the annals of my Instagram reel and see if you were one of the few to understand the real MESSAGE behind my trite little photographs. Feel free to “heart” if you’ve had sudden epiphanies. Username: SierrasPen ­čśŤ

Update: I just “linked up” with Brooke’s Instagram Link Up. I didn’t know there was such a thing.