As a self-proclaimed Drew Barrymore non-fan, I still have to admit that Never Been Kissed is, in my opinion, the greatest chick flick of all time.
It’s no secret. I have a love/hate relationship with The Bachelor. This is my fifth season now, and it’s “finally” starting to sink in that there’s something rather…scripted about this version of “reality.” I now present to you my satiric script of another exciting season of The Bachelor.
When I got married, I got a new cellphone plan, and with it a new number. I did the customary thing: transferred my contacts, sent out a mass text with my new number, and I think I even posted some sort of Facebook announcement about it as well. As with all cellular changes, there were a few stragglers that didn’t get the memo.
I was a ThesPian in high school and so I went through this rather alienating period where I listened to only Show Tunes. Les Mis! Phantom of the Opera! The Last Five Years! Little Shop of Horrors! Maybe I didn’t have very many cool-cool friends at that phase of my life, but I’m not sure if I’ve ever been happier. Try it.Listen to “Do You Hear The People Sing?” from Les Mis while you’re doing chores and tell me if you’ve never been more inspired as you are mopping the floor.
I’m thinking of creating a blog label for all of my “deep thoughts.” For all my posts on like, you know, The Bachelor and like… hair products and stuff.
So, Taylor Swift has committed two offenses against me, but I have recently decided to forgive her for them.
1. Dating Jake Gyllenhaal
2. Having an old boyfriend of mine say to me, “I WISH you looked like Taylor Swift.” (He wasn’t kidding).
So, understandably, Taylor and I haven’t been buddy-buddy for the last year or so, but after seeing her cute self on Ellen singing with Zac Efron (who I NEVER liked before that), I have to say, Taylor and I are back on speaking terms… And I think she’s adorable. Also, it doesn’t hurt that Jeremy doesn’t find her overly attractive.
Another reason I like Taylor Swift so much: She is a TOTAL dork, and in my family, being a dork is a really good thing. You might not know she is a dork by just looking at her on the red carpet looking like this:
She’s cheer captain and I’m on the bleachers.”
–The music video depicts a pig-tailed, band geek Taylor, totally owning her bleacherism. I think this speaks to a past life of social awkwardness, that Swift can now embrace, and win best female music video over.
You Belong with Me
2. She occasionally sings… awkward things. It’s ok to out “Drew,” whoever he is, because no one knows him. But it seems a tinsy bit too forthcoming by singing about John Mayer (way too old/perverted for you), and Taylor Lautner (besides, you can do better, Taylor S.). And I’m not going to get into the forgiveness song she sang to Kanye at the 2010 VMA’s, because the awkwardness makes me feel a little uncomfortable, to be frank.
*If she sings about Jake Gyllenhaal, her career is over.
3. The most indicting evidence for the geekism of Ms. Swift is here, and this is the one that makes me love her more than anything: The Girl Can’t Dance.
And just as she seems to be America’s sweetheart right now, watching her geeking out, totally aware of her enthusiastic dorkdom, I admit she’s capturing my heart. This may be because I too (and hold onto your knickers, because this may surprise you), am a total dork who cannot dance, who is way too white, and who, if she ever went to high school football games, would have certainly been on the bleachers too.