Today, I felt the sunshine for the first time this year–really felt it. I let myself get sticky in the sun rather than running for shelter, seeking respite from the heat in a shaded, air-conditioned room. I let myself believe I had time for a run along the Hudson, and I let myself feel the weight of the pavement against my shoes. I let myself believe I could be a person. It felt foreign, but it also felt good.
Sometimes I shuffle facets of my identity, so before Person, I am Teacher. I am intensely focused. This becomes problematic when I become teacher before wife, teacher before sister, teacher before friend. I worship at the alter of being a teacher, I pay it alms, I surrender pieces of my sanity because I feel compelled to teach.

I got lost in it this year. More so than usual. So when I came home, when I “clocked out,” when I hung my hat, I couldn’t actually resume personhood–I was just a zombie. I traded my personhood for video games, for binge watching tv, for infinite scroll.I got pretty tired of myself this year. I missed personal me. So for the first time in nine months of missing my personhood, I’m sitting on a bench, watching the sun go down, feeling organically guilt free, home grown, sun shone.

Today I felt like an actual person again, soaking in neglected parts of my soul with the sun.


  1. Jun 23, 2017
    Carrie A.

    You always say the right things in the right-est way. So much love.

  2. Jun 23, 2017
    Joanie Porter

    You, my dear are an incredibly articulate, thoughtful and passionate writer. I love to read your posts (although painful at times), they are always from the depths of your soul. Your family, friends and students are so blessed to have such an authentic beauty in their lives. ❤️