I collect idiosyncrasies; which is to say that I’m kind of an odd duck. One such idiosyncrasy is my peculiar affinity for having blood drawn. Since I was tested for mono in the 9th grade (test positive, thank you very much), I realized that once the needle was in, it felt kind of like a little sucker-fish sucking on a teeny hole in my arm—and for some crazy reason, I kinda liked it.

An unfortunate Robinson reality: I have yet to break the 110-pound limit required of blood donors, so I’ve never gotten to wear one of those nifty criss-crossy colored bandage thingies that you get, along with complimentary juice, that one receives after they donate. Thus, I persuaded two of my most trusted BYU acquaintances, Miss Chloe Noelle (who you’ve met before) and Sir Jeremy Penrod Esquire, to donate their red humor in my stead.

Chloe. Was. Nervous. 

Jeremy was obnoxiously nonchalant.

Jeremy, after finishing the question and answer session, which sounds more akin to a PPI, was escorted to the donation chair, where they juiced his arm up with iodine and inserted an impressive needle. I played the role of the dutiful girlfriend-type-thing, and gasped and grimaced in all the right places. Jeremy charmed the male nurses, all the while maintaining a positive demeanor, and cheering Chloe on as she made her begrudging death march to her own donation chair.

Chloe. Was. Still. Nervous. She declined my invitation to hold her hand, and opted for Jeremy’s masculine (albeit a tad clammy) hand instead. The nurse was appropriately sarcastic with Chloe as me, Jess (another cheerleader), and Jeremy gathered around her and watched her squeeze the blood out of her arms. Chloe expressed her concern, not about the pinch of the needle, but of the lurking fear that she would pass out after the deed was done. Jeremy made wise cracks about the impossibility of the whole affair.

And then, he mentioned that he perhaps ought to get something to eat.

And then he turned paler than Edward Cullen.

And then I thought he was merely trying to psyche my woe-begotten friend out by falling, face-first, almost in slow motion, on top of her as the blood drained from her arm.

“Jeremy!” I said harshly. “That’s not funny! Stop faking it.”

Jess was quicker on the uptake. She realized that my boyfriend-type-thing was indeed fainting—genuinely. There was a slight panic as the nurses eased Jeremy’s pale, momentarily lifeless, and excessively limp body to the floor.



Chloe got up and got juice like it was nobody’s business.



  1. Feb 08, 2011
    Craig

    Sierra – this is so well written! I felt like I was there. You really captured the moment in words

    Reply
  2. Feb 08, 2011
    Jeremy

    I wish there was a 'Not Funny' reaction to check.

    Reply
  3. Feb 08, 2011
    adrienne

    boyfiend-type-thing?

    Reply
  4. Feb 08, 2011
    Erin

    ok, let me just remind you that this fuel for your body thing is REAL! Get it Jeremy????? So glad you were there Sierra–this is Mom by the way Jeremy. Erin's here shrieking at the thought of it all. Me too. Sort of. But not terribly surprised by it all. Funny, our stake had a drive yesterday too! I opted out. I. Was. Nervous.

    Reply
  5. Feb 08, 2011
    Tiffany

    You're disgusting Sierra. You like the feeling?? Gross. My least favorite times of the year were when blood drives were going on, and I would have to avert my eyes or find alternate paths through the Wilk and try not to dry heave &/or faint. Thank GOODNESS there's the 110-pound rule, because if I were over the limit I might feel some sort of guilt for not donating.

    A sucker fish?? More like a leech. And those kill people.

    Reply
  6. Feb 09, 2011
    Jeremy

    boyfiend-type-thing?

    Reply
  7. Feb 09, 2011
    Kels H.

    hillarious-type-thing? yes. Reading this is almost as good as witnessing it.

    Reply
  8. Feb 11, 2011
    christi.higham

    This completely made my day…month? year? every time I will see Jeremy in the future? hahahaha Nice writing and thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this 🙂

    Reply